What BYU Lacrosse Means to Me

My junior year of high school was spent going on college visits what felt like every weekend. I had a list of schools that I was interested in and I was hoping and praying that they were interested in me too. At each school I weighed a list of pros and cons about the school and it's details, as well as the lacrosse team there, trying to somehow sort out a list of my preferences - much easier said than done. I spent the summer after junior year at camp after camp after camp. I had 18 days at home that summer, not exactly a dream vacation, but to me it was amazing getting to play that much and to grow so much. At the end of the summer I didn't have any offers and was heartbroken. I started thinking of new ways to become what I had dreamed of for so long - a college lacrosse player.

By the time senior year rolled around I put in my applications to a few schools, hoping that they wouldn't matter, that I would be recruited anyway and not need an application, but knowing it might be a long shot. I figured that worst case scenario I would get in and go try to be a walk-on at one of the schools I applied to. I applied to BYU even though that was the last thing I wanted at the time.

Clearly the Lord wanted me here. I'm still not entirely sure why but am so grateful for the experiences that I have had here at BYU. I didn't get in to any of the other schools that I had applied to. I got waitlisted, but at this point was sick of the rollercoaster of whether or not I was going to make it into a school or not and I wanted to be able to start making plans. So BYU it was.

My mom and I drove 32 hours straight across the country, slept for about 11, then got started moving me in and ready to start school. I went to the lacrosse meeting and got extremely nervous. All through tryouts I was nervous and wasn't sure I would make it. I was so, so, so happy to find out I made the team and started a journey that has helped me in so many ways.

Jump forward 4 and a half years and here's just part of what I got out of all of it:

This team, throughout multiple years and changes in rosters has provided me with some of my very best friends that I'm more than certain rescued me out of situations that would have been much more problematic without them. They have stood beside me through ups and downs both on and off the field. I learned how to be a better leader. I went on some of the longest and best road trips of my life. I experienced some of the biggest joys and surprises and disappointments and frustrations and happiness of my life. I learned more than I thought possible how to juggle different responsibilities. I learned how to get creative with where we could practice. I learned how to dress for both freezing and burning temperatures (sometimes in the same week). I learned how to communicate and sacrifice and dedicate myself to something bigger than just me. I learned how to bite my tongue and to channel my passion and energy into something constructive. I learned fun and weird things about teammates 8 hours into a 12 hour drive. I sang songs in funny accents and with mixed up words more times than I'd like to admit. I met wonderful families that opened their homes to us. I learned how tiring 6am workouts are. I cheered until I lost my voice multiple times. I learned that we have fans all over the country, and other fans willing to come all over the country to visit us. I got out of my comfort zone to fundraise so we would have the money to go to all of our tournaments. I overshared information about myself and laughed about it the whole time with some of my favorite girls. I learned how to effectively stalk other teams on multiple websites. I had multiple girl crushes. I celebrated little things and big things. I cried during practice. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants at practice. I practiced in rain boots while it was snowing, with a kickball and a football. I followed traditions and started new ones. I learned from older girls and hope that I was able to teach younger girls. I had more swollen ankles and bruises than I want to count. I put more miles on my car than I want to know. I got to represent the school that I attended, and my beliefs to people all over the country. I became a better person because of the people that surrounded me. My testimony grew because of the great examples of the same girls.

I got more out of being a part of this team than I can ever give back. I am so sad to be done with this part of my lacrosse experience, but am so much more grateful to everyone who made it so great, and so grateful to be lucky enough to have gotten to enjoy it so much.

Suggestions Please?

A few weeks ago I was so busy I felt like I barely had time to breathe. I was running from work, to class, to the library, back to class, to my internship, to lacrosse, and then home if I was lucky. I felt like my life was running me more than I was running it and I was exhausted all the time. I couldn't wait to get to this week, when I knew finals would end and I would have time to do what I wanted.

Now that I'm here, I hate to say this, but I'm bored. I've cleaned the apartment, I've made phone calls and done the errands that I need to. I'm trying to stay busy, but it feels like my days are so, so long. I don't know how this happened. I went from the busiest couple of months I've ever had to having more time than I know what to do with.

I'm trying to embrace it and enjoy the calm before the storm of us moving and starting dental school and the craziness starts again but I need some help :)

If anyone has any suggestions for great books to read, or fun things to do in Provo I'm all ears. Please, please help me stay busy and find things to do!

Chase and I are also working on a "bucketlist" of sorts for Provo - things we need to do before we move away and might not get the chance to do. Suggestions for that would be much appreciated as well!

1 year

It's crazy to think about what can happen in a year...

At this time last year I was working on my mission papers to serve a full-time mission for The Church. I was so excited for the chance to learn and grow and to serve people without having to think about anything else.

I thought that I would be leaving for a year and a half and would pick back up where I left off once I was back.

Little did I know that there were other plans in the works. Today is 11 months that Chase and I have been officially together. I quickly fell in love, waited for him to fall just as hard for me ;), got engaged, and am so happy to be married to my best friend (best 3+ months ever).

In that time I've also competed in the national championship tournament for my lacrosse team, been skydiving for the second time, grew even closer to my family, got a new family to be a part of, had my best semester and term ever in college, made a ton of really great new friends, spent time with old friends, had my testimony grow, hit my year mark at work, managed to not sprain an ankle (knock on wood), and have loved every minute of it.

I'm so grateful to not always know the bigger picture, to just be preparing for what I'm ready for and I'm grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows me and knows what's best for me to allow that to happen.

I can't wait to see the adventures that 2014 holds :)

Oh hey

Sparknotes version of the past 2 1/2 months or so:

:: We got married :)
:: We honeymooned in Florida, and LOVED getting to go to Disney World together
:: My team had a tournament in Colorado that we did pretty well in, especially with 17 freshmen and only 5 returners this year
:: We celebrated Thanksgiving with my grandparents and cousins and loved every second of a low-key break from school
:: We had a surprise flat/shredded tire and had to replace all four tires on my car (what a fun surprise)
:: We've figured out work and school for the next couple months after not being sure what we would do
:: Chase was accepted into dental school at UT San Antonio starting July 2014!!!

I am so, so proud of him and am so glad all of his hard work has paid off. I'm so excited for the adventure this means we get to start in less than a year!

:: We watched two of our very best friends get engaged... to eachother!
:: Chase graduates from BYU this week!!
:: I'm two finals away from being done with this semester and am looking forward to getting to see my family and go spend time with Chase's family too

Things are really, really great and I fall further in love with Chase every day and am loving getting to spend every day with my best friend. We're figuring things out as we go, and laughing a whole lot along the way. Isn't that the best way to do it?

Just a thought.

"When we frustrate God’s plan for us, we deprive this world and God’s kingdom of our unique contributions, and a serious schism settles in our soul.  God never gave us any task beyond our ability to accomplish it.  We just have to be willing to do it our own way.  We will always have enough resources for being who we are and what we can become.”

-Pat Holland, LDS Women’s Treasury: Insights and Inspiration for Today’s Woman, p. 104

My cousin shared this quote on her blog and I'm so, so grateful for it.

Sometimes (especially recently), it's so easy to get caught up in everything I'm not doing and everything that I see others doing and wish I could too. I want to have the apartment perfectly clean whenever Chase comes home, and a warm dinner coming out of the oven, and all my homework done, and to not be sweaty from lacrosse practice, and to be smiling and happy and so many things - I learned very quickly that all of this isn't possible despite how much I want it. This realization was really hard for me, but I realized that those nights I do have it all together are really great, but that no one expects that every night. It's not realistic and usually requires me sacrificing doing the things I really love to do. If I can focus on my talents and what I love doing I will be so much better at those things and so much happier.

Summer!

Spring classes ended this week.

Finals should be done today.

Family trips start this week (some of my favorites arrive in Utah tonight).

The weather is absolutely beautiful - perfect for reading new books by the pool.

Shorts and flip flops have become regular choices.

Watermelon and fresh corn stands are starting to pop up on the corners of busy intersections.

Summer lacrosse league started this week.

The days keep getting longer.

Plans for amazing trips are falling into place.

...

And the only thing left between me and enjoying all of this is one last paper...

Sending Birthday Wishes...

to one of the best people I have ever known.
to the woman who taught me the value of an education.

to the one who taught me to love reading.
to the most well-traveled person I have ever met.
to the best traveling buddy I've ever had.
to the lady who wasn't embarrassed to slide down the red rocks with me when I was afraid to go by myself.

to the one who taught me I'm only allowed to pick one wildflower for every six I see - to appreciate the beauty of nature around me and how important it is to make sure it can stay that way.

to the one who would have tea parties with me at the kid's table during Thanksgiving dinner.
to the woman who helped begin my love of the beach.
to the best person I've ever shared a birthday party with.
to the lady who taught us to just jump in the water and worry about being cold later - because she knew we'd have fun anyway.

to the one who always said, "You be the good one."
to the best bedtime story teller ever.
to the woman I still look up to almost daily.

I love you grandma and miss you every day. Thanks for watching over all of us. Wish you could be here to celebrate with me this year again!  

Things putting a smile on my face...

-- Our THIRD place finish at Nationals - the highest BYU Women's Lacrosse has ever finished the season in program history

-- Celebratory tripod-ing

-- Long phone calls with my family
-- Funny pictures from my sister
-- Having just one class a day
-- The idea of reading for fun
-- Thinking about how lucky I was to get three whole years to play lacrosse and spend so much time with some of my best friends

-- Getting to spend a whole week with this guy

-- The pool opening
-- Not waking up before the sun anymore - it's so much nicer to make that drive in the daylight
-- The fact that every one of my girls ran the mile in less than 12:30 this week (we've been working for that one for a long time)
-- Knowing I get to see this pretty girl tonight and tomorrow and catch up on her life

-- Knowing I have this girl next door

-- Getting to talk to Everleigh all the way from Africa
-- Celebrating a special birthday (even if it's from far away)

-- Thinking about how much fun lacrosse will be next season with these girls:

-- Spending time being an auntie and getting kisses from this boy

-- And of course this:

March Madness

As my roommates and I were sitting and talking last night we could not get over the fact that it's March already. We arrived at the consensus that March is stressful and overwhelming.

This time of year is usually the time for big decisions. Decisions about things like where to live next year, where to live spring/summer, what do even do spring/summer, and choosing classes for next fall just to name a few.

On top of those decisions, it's the hardest time to stay on top of schoolwork. We've had our last long weekend of the semester and are in for a six weeks straight until finals - yikes. Final projects and papers need to get started, on top of midterms still going on. It also starts to warm up outside, which makes it incredibly difficult to focus on doing everything that needs to happen inside (especially studying).

Add on top of that that some of my best friends are graduating within a year (in both April and December) and I want to spend all the time I can with all of them.

I think one of the hardest things for me this month is a diet I'm supposed to be trying for one of my classes that gets rid of most of my favorite foods (very limited dairy, animal meat, animal protein, and no refined sugar)... Do me a favor and don't ask me how it's going haha

Basically we've started our our kind of march madness. We are trying very hard to stay on top of everything we've signed up for and are realizing it's just the beginning.

Despite feeling this chaos and stress I'm so, so excited about this month and here's why:

-- I get to travel for lacrosse 3 out of the 5 weekends in March
-- I get to play in lacrosse games 4 out of the 5 weekends this month
-- I'm still loving my classes and still want to learn from them as opposed to the normal slump I'm feeling around this time of the semester
-- The term ends this month for work, which means despite not having a regular long weekend I will have one weekend that I get to sleep in like a normal person and I can't wait
-- The weather is warming up - finally no more big coats, scarves, and boots every day
-- That also means we get to practice on a real field, with real grass instead of on parking lots that aren't very forgiving when we fall
-- I already feel like I have so many fun things planned to balance out the hard work that's been going on and I can't wait for them to happen
-- I'm getting to spend so much of my free time with so many of my favorite people and loving every second of it
-- We're ranked #4 in the country right now for lacrosse - that's a constant good reminder of the hard work we've already put into this season
-- By the end of this month my dad will be here, it will be Julia's birthday, we'll be focused on the Savior and Easter AND preparing for conference weekend (which is great because for the first time in my 3 years of living in Utah, I'll be here for the April sessions)

And an extra reason this month is starting off right?

I got an unsolicited hug from one of my girls this morning after class. They're the best.

Church Recap

We had ward conference today and the theme was "Let the Holy Spirit Guide"

As the talks and lessons went on I was so incredibly grateful for the people giving them and what they were teaching me.

It increased my testimony in and love for my Savior.

I was grateful for the peace that I felt and for the feeling I got that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and more than anything He wants me to be happy. Because of this I can talk to Him about seemingly insignificant things because what's important to me is important to Him.

I have a lot to learn and always will, but I can learn every single day from the Holy Ghost.

I was also struck with gratitude for the people in my life that have helped me learn some of these lessons already and the people that are helping me learn them right now, pushing me to be better.

I also am extremely grateful for the technology available that let me see just a little bit of my sister's talk all the way across the country today. She's such a great example to me and I'm so proud of everything she is doing :)

Life as of Late

1. Ward wallyball - super fun and I promise we're getting better every game. Slowly...

2. The cutest cheeks ever, also the most fun to play with

3. The new background on my phone - someone might think it's my child and I have to say I'm strangely ok with that

4. Advertising for Skate Your Heart Out - don't we look good?

5. Marie's farewell - She is going to be the most incredible missionary. Can't wait to hear all about it :)

6. Somehow ended up wearing my brother's number on a BYU jersey at practice - foreshadowing? I certainly hope so

I feel like these pictures describe themselves pretty well. Basically I love my team more than anything. They're the greatest and funniest and I don't know what I'd do without them. Enough said.

Feeling Blessed

I feel very blessed today.

I got all the way moved into my room... which feels like nothing short of a miracle if you ask me.

I got to teach this morning and have my girls do SO well.

I got to find notes and pictures from people that I love while I was unpacking things.

Last and definitely not least I got to skype with my family for FHE all the way across the country...

I promise we were more excited than we all look...

Things putting a smile on my face...

-- Starting lacrosse again
-- Having awesome lacrosse practices
-- Being the good kind of sore
-- Talking to my fam on the phone
-- Taking the best classes possible
-- Being on top of my homework
-- Feeling good about decisions
-- Good talks with great friends
-- One of my girls giving me a big hug after class
-- Watching my girls understand concepts I've taught
-- Seeing their faces light up when they finally get it after trying all day
-- Cleaning out my e-mail inbox (who knew this would feel so good?)
-- Eating better
-- Making new friends in class and at church
-- Space heaters and heated blankets
-- Carmel hot chocolate
-- Good music
-- Recognizing my blessings
-- Trips to the temple (even if my hair freezes on the way back to my car)
-- Seeing this little one and getting him to giggle

Where's the Pause Button?

I have a million things on my to-do list right now.

I have a million things I want to be doing besides that list.

And somehow through all the busyness of these things I have had this incredible feeling the past few days. This feeling that life is so incredibly good that I just want to hit pause and stay in that moment. I know this isn't possible, and I know that it probably wouldn't be as good as I'd expect, but I'm loving every second of things right now.

It hit me really hard driving back from work the other day: I have an amazing job working with amazing girls, I get to spend hours a week with some of my best friends playing my favorite sport in the world, even though my classes are hard they're so interesting and are making me better at things I love to do, I love my family more than I can express with words and just got to spend three weeks with them, I love my apartment, I love my ward, and even despite the freezing cold the snow is really pretty and I have a heater that works wonderfully (and delicious hot chocolate).

Now this doesn't begin to cover all of the blessings I have in my life but I am seriously so lucky and so blessed to be where I am and loving it so much. I'm so grateful for the moments when I get to stop and smell the roses and appreciate everything I have going on.

Blickenstaff's

So the other day I went into Blickenstaff's to visit my roommate Brittany and I had SO much fun!

They have a huge bulk candy section which I obviously loved and a bunch of cool old-fashioned sodas.



We LOVED the peach gummies and I can't wait to have more.

They also have tons of fun toys you can play with. There's a rockboard, easy rollers, fun board games and so much more.

It's the best place to escape from finals and act like a little kid again :)

PS - If you write a blog post about them too before Dec. 31st you get a free pound of candy!

Christmas Spirit

Let me start by saying finals are rough. Even when I think I'm going to be super motivated and want to study for hours it somehow doesn't quite happen. Which is unfortunate because it's made enjoying the gorgeous snow that we've had a little bit difficult. Yes, finals are easier than midterms in that I don't have to go to class at the same time and that people understand when I have to say no to things better, but there's really no true escape from finals... or so I thought.

I have the pleasure of working at the New Haven residential treatment center as a PE Teacher. Now some mornings are harder than others, but honestly who really wants to get up and work out at 7:30 in the morning? I don't hold it against my girls at all that they don't always want to be there, but it sometimes makes my relationships with them interesting (I'm not sure anyone's their best at that hour...). Between school and lacrosse and living half an hour away from where the girls do, I don't get to see them outside of class too much.

Today I got to go ice skating with them. I should probably admit to the fact that I'm not nearly as coordinated as I should be for being a PE teacher, and skating does not come naturally to me. I had girls skating in circles around me almost the whole time. Then I got to watch while the girls did a gift exchange with the staff that's with them almost the whole time. It was so fun to see the little things that they got so excited about.

In the two hours that I spent with them I saw more of the Christmas Spirit than I have in a while. It was incredible to watch them help each other gain confidence in their skating, while they danced, or even just connected more with the people around them. I caught myself just watching them multiple times as they'd grab another girls' hand as they skated by to include her in the group and helped someone get up after they fell on the ice. The generosity and thoughtfulness of the girls in their gift giving was incredible. I was so impressed. At the end of the gift exchange I was getting up to leave with everyone else and was kinda distracted (even though I couldn't tell you by what). One of the girls came up to me, put something in my hand, gave me a hug and wished me a Merry Christmas. As I looked down I realized she had opened up her own gift and had given me part of it. I was blown away by her attention to the things going on around her and the kindness she showed in sharing with me. It wasn't expected of her to do anything like that and definitely wasn't necessary - which made it that much better. 

Along with the rest of my girls, she was such a great example of what the Christmas season is and what it should be all about.  

I love my job. 

I love my girls.

I love the Christmas season.

I love seeing Christmas Spirit in the least expected ways.

I want to challenge you to surprise someone with the Christmas Spirit and share any cool experiences you have, I promise to do the same. Merry Christmas everyone! 

Best Intentions...

Despite my best intentions sometimes things just don't turn out. Last night for example:

I had every intention of going to FHE

... but conditioning started and ended late and I hadn't gone grocery shopping yet. Oops.

I meant to have dinner done by the time everyone got home

... but not making it to the grocery store earlier in the day made that a little difficult.

I really wanted to clean up and put away all the laundry

...but the day was over before I realized what had happened and other things took priority.

I was really excited about dinner

... and then I caught the garlic bread on fire (yes, actual flames coming out of the oven), and couldn't even think coherently enough to put the fire out myself (thanks a million, Syd) . 

But

... luckily I have great roommates that not only are great at putting out fires but also make me laugh incredibly hard at funny situations and my incompetence when it comes to cooking. 

What I've learned...

... in a day of forced bed rest because I somehow managed to contract mono:

• being sick means you can eat whatever you want (maybe over-justification, but I'm ok with it)
• people at doctor's offices and pharmacy counters have very interesting senses of humor
• I am very good at taking naps
• you don't actually have to kiss anyone to get mono
• you'll still get made fun of for having the "kissing disease" no matter how many times you deny kissing anyone recently
• sometimes people make really awkward jokes about the kissing disease
• having the kissing disease doesn't make you not hit pipe
• cough syrup is, and always will be disgusting
• Friends is one of the best and funniest TV shows ever
• I have the best friends in the whole world... that make me dinner and offer to bring me all of my favorite things
• my desire to play lacrosse even if I'm sick is difficult to comprehend... even for me sometimes

On that note... Come watch us play Saturday at 4:30 at Westminster or Tuesday at 5:30 at Utah :) Season openers and we love our fans!!

Celebrating the Little Things

We were at practice last week and as always with this time of year we've been struggling with our basics. We spend a majority of practice working on our passing and catching - which to be honest is frustrating. And boring. So while lacrosse is always one of my favorite times of the day it's been something I've had to gear up for. Then Juj came up with a great idea for us as we were trying to hide our frustrations...

She told us to celebrate every catch. That simple. To celebrate the little thing that we've done right in that moment. These were no small celebrations... we had roaring (since we are the cougars), loud yelling, over the top compliments, cartwheels, and lots of laughs. You would be surprised what a difference this made in the tone of practice. Instead of getting frustrated by not reaching our goal as quickly as we wanted to we shifted our focus to highlighting the happy things. Which in turn helped us relax, smile and do better.

As I got thinking about it I decided I wanted to implement this into my everyday life. So this is my way to hold myself accountable... to myself and to anyone who reads this.

Even if I have a frustrating day I am going to focus on the little things that went right and celebrate those. Things like bonding with one of the girls at work, catching up with someone I didn't expect to, getting all of my homework done, not hitting pipe at practice, keeping my room clean (ok... not such a little thing), getting to bed at a decent hour, doing well on a quiz in class, getting to the temple, understanding a new concept, pretty colors on the mountains, getting awesome packages from my parents (who have spoiled me like crazy recently - love you both!), finding a new scripture I love, etc. These are the things worth celebrating. And they add up fast.

...

On a similar note I listened to one of the best devotionals ever on the way to the work this week. They don't have it available for reading right now but I promise that it's worth watching or listening to! Here it is. Thanks Si :)

Weekend To-Do List

• Take Grammar Test
• Parent-Teacher Conferences
• Go to the temple
• Visit Brittany at Blickenstaff's
• Go see the Chalk Festival at the Riverwoods
• Try a new restaurant
• Get extra miles in
• Lacrosse practice
• Lacrosse team bonding
• Drive the Alpine Loop (before the leaves start to fall)
• Girls' Date Weekend with Si
• Dinner at Grandma and Grandpa's

It's going to be a great rest of the weekend...