Things I Want to Remember

So Baby Trejo is supposed to be here in less than 3 weeks! I'm so, so excited and also so nervous. There's just so many unknowns. But there's not too much I can do about it until then, so for now I'm trying to take in these last couple weeks and there have been some things that have come across my mind that I want to remember. In no particular order they are:

- How cool it feels to feel her move inside of me

- How fun it is to see Chase's reactions when he gets to feel her move

- The excitement we feel for her coming so soon

- That picking out names is way harder than I thought

- Nesting instinct is a real thing

- So is pregnancy brain, and pregnancy exhaustion

- How funny it is to not be able to see my toes while I walk

- That walking around on hot days is way harder than I thought it would be, and then so is sitting down (this was taken at an obstacle course 5k that Chase with his parents did that I played photographer for, I got this break while they waited in line for one of the giant water slides)

- How much more I already love Chase seeing him get ready to be a dad to our little girl

- That I can feel the prayers, support, and love from people that want things to go well for us (thank you!!) and how AMAZING that is

- That she already has more clothes than I think she could need and I still feel like I have to stop and look every time we pass the baby section of a store just in case

- The huge desire I have to hold her in my arms already

- That I'm also ok with her hanging out in my belly for a little longer

- She already feels like she has such a strong personality, that some days I feel like I know her and other days I don't know how to imagine what she'll be like

- That I can do hard things that I never thought I'd be able to (especially if I'm patient with myself and take my time):

- How much more I appreciate my parents and grandparents already (I'm sure this will exponentially increase in the near future)

- That I can feel how much my Heavenly Father loves our baby already

- How excited I am for General Conference this weekend to learn more about how I can be a good mom, wife, daughter, etc. 

- How generous and nice everyone we know has been about this change in our lives

Mostly I want to remember how much I'm loving this time in my life. Even with Chase's crazy school schedule, the big changes that are coming, not being able to sleep through the night, and the overwhelming number of unknowns that are constantly in front of us, there are so many good things going on right now and I couldn't just ignore them. 

Suggestions Please?

A few weeks ago I was so busy I felt like I barely had time to breathe. I was running from work, to class, to the library, back to class, to my internship, to lacrosse, and then home if I was lucky. I felt like my life was running me more than I was running it and I was exhausted all the time. I couldn't wait to get to this week, when I knew finals would end and I would have time to do what I wanted.

Now that I'm here, I hate to say this, but I'm bored. I've cleaned the apartment, I've made phone calls and done the errands that I need to. I'm trying to stay busy, but it feels like my days are so, so long. I don't know how this happened. I went from the busiest couple of months I've ever had to having more time than I know what to do with.

I'm trying to embrace it and enjoy the calm before the storm of us moving and starting dental school and the craziness starts again but I need some help :)

If anyone has any suggestions for great books to read, or fun things to do in Provo I'm all ears. Please, please help me stay busy and find things to do!

Chase and I are also working on a "bucketlist" of sorts for Provo - things we need to do before we move away and might not get the chance to do. Suggestions for that would be much appreciated as well!

Just a thought.

"When we frustrate God’s plan for us, we deprive this world and God’s kingdom of our unique contributions, and a serious schism settles in our soul.  God never gave us any task beyond our ability to accomplish it.  We just have to be willing to do it our own way.  We will always have enough resources for being who we are and what we can become.”

-Pat Holland, LDS Women’s Treasury: Insights and Inspiration for Today’s Woman, p. 104

My cousin shared this quote on her blog and I'm so, so grateful for it.

Sometimes (especially recently), it's so easy to get caught up in everything I'm not doing and everything that I see others doing and wish I could too. I want to have the apartment perfectly clean whenever Chase comes home, and a warm dinner coming out of the oven, and all my homework done, and to not be sweaty from lacrosse practice, and to be smiling and happy and so many things - I learned very quickly that all of this isn't possible despite how much I want it. This realization was really hard for me, but I realized that those nights I do have it all together are really great, but that no one expects that every night. It's not realistic and usually requires me sacrificing doing the things I really love to do. If I can focus on my talents and what I love doing I will be so much better at those things and so much happier.